I’m having a hard time adjusting, I guess. I dread each class as it approaches, but once I’m in there, doing my thing, it’s all good. Not sure why I am feeling this way. Was I set up to not believe these students care? Am I doubting my abilities to teach English, to reach these young adults? Am I questioning my ability to entertain myself in Rustaq for a whole year (ten months, really, since we get July and August off for Ramadan) and therefore come to school with a general sense of worry?
I am for sure suffering from some form of Imposter Syndrome. Sure, I am a teacher, but I am no English teacher, despite my extensive editing experience and the CELTA Pass B I earned this summer. I fear that teaching English in and of itself doesn’t excite me. Or perhaps it’s just that I’m discouraged and frustrated when I read sentences like this:
“I fevernet pround of the car Lexises. becowues, It has different servese sachas good AAC, screnn for all masnger.”
“It stay with you for along time like you know it’s Germiny.”
(Note: These students are responding to the question, “What is your favorite brand and why?”)
I have a hard time believing these college students are in their third or fourth year of English classes here, after learning English in their secondary schooling as well. But, I tell myself, at least I can figure out what they are trying to communicate and correct the sentences accordingly.
Then there are those that make me laugh (I feel a little guilty over this, but, meh):
“my car engine has a Turbo, becouse of that Im interesting with it.”
“On the other head…”
But then when I read this:
“When decline the disease that can help to work and get salary that’s need in your life.”
“I will take fast food market because it has some resourses. First of all, Anyone has main and you think it is good for your body or not.”
In response to a question of whether students would take a high-paying job in fast-food marketing, I don’t even know where to begin (Seriously, I welcome any help or advice here).
I dutifully hand back papers that have more of my handwriting than the student’s, and go over some of the more common errors across the essays (example: write “a high salary,” not just “high salary,” but “people,” not “the people.”
Then I take a deep breath, and begin the actual lesson. The class seems to go well and at the end I am, for whatever reason, surprised by this. Even the young men who can be quite the trouble makers declare they wish to finish their essay and turn it into me after class, when they could have given up five minutes earlier.
Hopefully I will be able to make at least a little headway with some of them. And myself.